Some may say 22 years is a long time, and some may say it's only a blink in the universe's existence. Some may say, "Give me 22 years, and I'll give you everything you could ever want and then some." For that person, 22 years is a long time to wait. But, on this day, in 1985, God smiled down from heaven and said, "I'll give you everything you could ever want and then some for 22 years and many, many more to come." Megan, you're everything any of us could ever want, and then some. God is still giving, and he will always be giving. Megan, thanks for always standing by my side when I was scared. Thanks for protecting me. Thank you for everything you have done for me. And tell God I said thanks for you, the cousin I always looked up to.
With love,
Shannen
Happy 22nd Meg!
Wish you could be here to celebrate with your Mom and friends, but we know that you are celebrating wherever you are! We miss you, Nicky, Kristen, and Will
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGAN !!
JJJHHHHHHHH
KAREN YOU DID A WONDERFUL JOB WITH THE WEBSITE (MUST HAVE BEEN A GIFT U GAVE MEGAN) (OR SHE GAVE U HUH?) SHE WOULD BE PROUD OF YOU.
LOTS OF LOVE TODAY AND EVERYDAY.
BIRTHDAYS ARE JOYOUS OCCASIONS,
NOT A TIME TO CRY, BUT CHEER
EVEN THOUGH THERE COMES A TIME
WHEN THE GUEST OF HONOR CANT APPEAR
BIRTHDAYS START WHEN LIFE BEGINS
A DAUGHTER WAS PLACED IN YOUR CARE
GOD GAVE HER TO YOU TO RAISE FOR HIM
THAT WHILE ON EARTH HER LOVE YOU SHARE
HER LIFE WAS PLANNED VERY CAREFULLY
GOD KNEW WHEN AND WHERE IT SHOULD START
HE ALSO KNEW THE JOY MEGAN WOULD BRING
INTO THE LIVES IN WHICH SHE HAD A PART
BUT WHEN GOD LOANED THIS CHILD TO YOU
HE ALSO KNEW HOW AND WHEN SHE MUST DEPART
FOR HER ETERNAL HOME IS HEAVEN
YET STILL SHE CAN DWELL WITHIN YOUR HEARTS
THOUGH YOU NOW HAVE SADNESS IN YOUR HEARTS
WHEN COMES THIS CELEBRATION DAY
ITS BECAUSE YOU LONG TO FEEL HER TOUCH
FOR SOMETIMES SHE SEAMS SO FAR AWAY
YOU DON'T NEED TO WAIT FOR BIRTHDAYS
TO REMEMBER HOW MUCH SHE MEANT
BECAUSE HER LOVE LIVES ON FOREVER
FOR SHE TOUCHED LIVES WHEREVER SHE WENT
YES, MEGAN NOW HAS A NEW BODY
ITS SIMPLY PERFECT IN EVERY WAY
SHE'S LIVING NOW IN GOD'S GREAT KINGDOM
WAITING FOR YOU SOME GLORIOUS DAY
SO HANG ON TO YOUR PRECIOUS MEMORIES
KEEP THEM CLOSE WITHIN YOUR HEARTS
AND REMEMBER GOD ONLY LOANED HER
FOR YOU TO LOVE & ENJOY FROM THE START

Wishing
You
and
Your
Family
and
Friends
a
Wonderful
"Happy Valentine's Day"
May Their Memories Of You
Warm Their Hearts.
Love,
Johnette
The Gap
The gap between those who have lost children and those who have not is profoundly difficult to bridge. No one, whose children are well and intact can be expected to understand what parents who have lost children have absorbed and what they bear. Our children come to us through every blade of grass, every crack in the sidewalk, every bowl of breakfast cereal. We seek contact with their atoms, their hairbrush, their toothbrush, their clothing. We reach for what was integrally woven into the fabric of our lives, now torn and shredded.
A black hole has been blown through our souls and, indeed, it often does not allow the light to escape. It is a difficult place. For us to enter there is to be cut deeply, and torn anew, each time we go there, by the jagged edges of our loss. Yet we return, again and again, for that is where our children now reside. This will be so for years to come and it will change us profoundly. At some point in the distant future, the edges of that hole will have tempered and softened but the empty space will remain - a life sentence.
Our friends will change through this. There is no avoiding it. We grieve for our children, in part, through talking about them and our feelings for having lost them. Some go there with us, others cannot and through their denial and a further measure, however unwittingly, to an already heavy burden. Assuming that we may be feeling "better" six months later is simply "to not get it." The excruciating and isolating reality that bereaved parents feel is hermetically sealed from the nature of any other human experience. Thus it is a trap - those whose compassion and insight we most need are those for whom we abhor the experience that would allow them that sensitivity and capacity. And yet, somehow there are those, each in their own fashion, who have found a way to reach us and stay, to our comfort. They have understood, again each in their own way, that our children remain our children through our memory of them. Their memory is sustained through speaking about them and our feelings about their death. Deny this and you deny their life. Deny their life and you no longer have a place in ours.
We recognize that we have moved to an emotional place where it is often very difficult to reach us. Our attempts to be normal are painful and the day to day carries a silent, screaming anguish that companies us, sometimes from moment to moment. Were we to give it its own voice we fear we would become truly unreachable, and so we remain "strong" for a host of reasons even as the strength saps our energy and drains our will. Were we to act out our true feelings we would be impossible to be with. We resent having to act normal, yet we dare not do otherwise. People who understand this dynamic are our gold standard.
Working our way through this over the years will change us as does every experience - and extreme experience changes one extremely. We know we will have recovered when, as we have read, it is no longer so painful to be normal. We do not know who we will be at that point or who will still be with us.
We have read that the gap is so difficult that, often, bereaved parents must attempt to reach out to friends and relatives or risk losing them. This is our attempt. For those untarnished by such events, who wish to know in some way what they, thankfully, do not know, read this. It may provide a window that is helpful for both sides of the gap.
By
Michael Crenlinsten
CHRIS (BRADLEY EVANS FAMILY)
MERRY XMAS FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS MEGAN / CHRIS (BRADLEY EVANS FAMILY )
The Griever's Bill of Rights For The Holidays
You have a right to say, TIME OUT!, anytime you need to. Time out to let up, blow a little steam, step away from the holidays, have a "huddle" time and start over.
You have a right to TELL IT LIKE IT IS. When people ask, "How are you…?" You have a right to tell them how you really feel, not just what they want to hear.*(*P.S. You also have the right to smile and say you're fine, because telling them how you really feel, isn't worth your time - some people will never understand anyway)
You have the right to SOME "BAH HUMBUG" DAYS. You don't have to be "Jolly Old St. Nicholas" all the time. You are not a bad person just because you don't feel like singing Christmas carols all day.
You have the right to DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY. There is no law that says you must always do Christmas the same way. You can do 10 cards instead of 100 - or no cards at all! You can open presents at somebody else's house. You can do without a tree. You can have a pizza instead of turkey! - the list is endless.
You have the right to BE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. Be at home or at the relatives. Be in any city, any state you choose! NOBODY SAID YOU HAVE TO HAVE SNOW TO HAVE CHRISTMAS. There's no law that says you must stay home!
You have a right to SOME FUN! When you have a day that isn't so bad and you feel like doing something just for fun, then do it! Don't be afraid of what someone else will say if they see you laughing and having a good time. Laughter is every bit as important as tears!
You have a right to CHANGE DIRECTION IN MID-STREAM. Holiday grief is unpredictable. You may be all ready to go somewhere or do something and suddenly be overwhelmed. When that happens, it's all right to change your mind. There's plenty of time in life to be predictable. Exercise your right to change when you need to.
You have a right to DO THINGS AT DIFFERENT TIMES. Go to church at a different time. Open presents at a different time. Serve your meal at a different time. Give up and go to bed at a different time. Don't be a slave to the holiday clock.
You have a right to REST, PEACE, and SOLITUDE. You don't need to be busy all the time. Take a nap whenever you need one. Take time to pray and meditate to recharge your spirit, it can do you much more good than eating another huge meal.
You have the right TO DO IT ALL DIFFERENT AGAIN NEXT YEAR. Just because you change things one year: try on something different, does not mean you have written it in stone. Next year, you can always change it back or do it, in yet, another new way.
One thing I know for certain is that is easier to let people know you are hurting. It is much easier than hurting all by yourself. I say this from experience.
This Thanksgiving I am thankful that God allowed me to have you for 20 beautiful years. I love you, Meg.